While Waiting in Line...

I just got back from the passport office and am greatly relieved that that chore is done. It was actually my second visit this week. The first time I forgot to bring my citizenship papers. Tell me, what idiot forgets their proof of citizenship when applying for a new passport!?

It’s been more than five years since my last passport application and the process has changed a bit. The paperwork is slightly more extensive and they’re pickier about the photos. But the lineups and the waiting is still much the same, although augmented by some interesting electronics.

There are three lineups. Well, maybe there are more but I only had to wait through two of them today. Lucky me, I guess. The sign for the third lineup said “Pick-up and Information”. Maybe I’ll get to wait in that one when I go back to pick up my new passport.

When I went earlier this week, the first lineup where you get your number so that you can wait in the second lineup only had three people in it (I’m not counting the babies and kids) so it only took me a few minutes to find out that I was an idiot.

Today, the first lineup was much longer. Much, much longer. It stretched from Counter No 1 in the passport office, out the office door, down a short hall, around a corner and halfway down another hall to the elevators. Happily, the line moved very fast (lots of people finding out they’re missing some critical piece of passport-getting paperwork and being sent away) and I got to Counter No 1 in about 20 minutes. The same person who pointed out my memory lapse a couple of days ago was there again today. I don’t think she remembered me, so I didn’t have to be embarrassed all over again. Whew!

She checked to make sure I had everything I needed, paper clipped it all together, gave me a piece of paper with A113 on it and said I should watch the electronic signs for my number to come up. I found a chair amongst all the other 200 or so people each clutching their little piece of paper and looked up at the electronic signs.

The nearest electronic sign said something like this:

B432  11
F751  7
E696  16

Another one had a different set of numbers.

D524  9
A104  6
F763  12

There were two more signs on the other side of the room behind me. Every few seconds the numbers on all the signs would shuffle around into different positions and/or to different signs. Occasionally a number would drop off and get replaced by a new number. After watching the signs for a long time and getting into a discussion with the person beside me (C379) and also the next person over (A117) the three of us figured out the following:

• The second number on each line refers to a specific counter in the office where you go when your number comes up.
  
• There were six separate sequences, beginning with A, B, C, D, E and F.
  
• Sequences A and D get serviced the fastest.
  
• Counter No 6 handles all the As. (Later, this was proven false when the person behind Counter No 8 came back from lunch.)
  
• The system is not fair. D571’s number came up before mine even though they got assigned their number 20 minutes after me!
  
• There is no methodology that we could figure out just by watching who went up to which counter when their number came up that predestines who gets an A, B, C, D, E or F.
  
• The government (Canadian Passport Department) seems to believe that people will wait more patiently if you give them an incomprehensible system for taking turns to figure out. Maybe they should pass that tidbit on to the Healthcare Department? Maybe they already have?

All in all it took just over 1½ hours and I had to pay $87. I did get complemented on my passport photo by the person behind Counter No 6. Nice and clear, good lighting, good colour, plain white background, won’t be rejected. Apparently it doesn’t matter that the photo makes you look like you were just dragged out of bed at 4am with an acute hangover.